Listen to this show; it's beautiful:
http://being.publicradio.org/programs/2010/wild-love-for-world/
"The great secret of death, and perhaps its deepest connection with us, is this: that, in taking from us a being we have loved and venerated, death does not wound us without, at the same time, lifting us toward a more perfect understanding of this being and of ourselves."
-Rilke
I've just driven down at 5:45am from West Brattleboro into Long Island, NY this early morning... I thought I was driving down to sit by my dying friend only to find out at the 7-11 gas station, as I filled up for my drive before dawn, that he made the passage last night.
Jean-Andre Martheleur, Dearest Friend, inspired Lover of Life (& everything that came with it), Photographer by Practice, Father, Artist of Everything, Amazing-Creative Cook, Spiritual Warrior, Disciplined Free-Man, Free-Man of Discipline, Belgian-turned-New Yorker, Music Connoisseur, Opinionated with Impeccable Taste, and SO MUCH MORE, ... passed away last night at 8:47pm.
Our friend Dick said it stormed quite violently a half hour before he passed. Our friend Tomo, who had introduced me to Andre almost 10 years ago, helped carry his body down the 5 flights of stairs in that Mott Street walkup. He, and the other 2 close friends who helped carry the body, could imagine Andre chuckling at them for the task of carrying his corpse.
I like knowing all this.
I feel him next to me and in me, and I felt him, during my drive, turn my head eastward to take in the sun behind the clouds at some point in Massachusettes, "Look, Banghan. It's a new day."
I imagined being next to him, to be in the presence of his body and to sit meditating on the passage of the soul . . . but I didn't make it in time.
So, I will sit in his space, smell the familiar smells, walk on that slanted chinatown-bought bamboo covered floors, sit in his comfortable meditation chair, with his tools & a picture of his childhood nanny, touch his art books, put on one of his old records, look in his fridge, and look out the window with the 2 silver maples that grew so so big during the years & years he lived there. His place is infused with HIM, as if the cells of those things have merged with His cells.
He's put up 2 drawings I sent him. He loved them, mainly because he loved me. My heart feels a lot.
I'm sure I'll miss him. I feel it. I want to honor his life, his gifts and cherish the seeds he so lovingly planted in me and his community. Funeral this Saturday...
Love You Andre. So so so blessed to have met you in this life.
Thank you for writing this. We loved Andre too. First met him in 1980 as a very young filmmaker in Soho. Went to Cinandre. Stayed friends forever after. Spoke to him a week ago. Caring and helpful to the very end. Miss him so. Happy to have some of his photographs he gave me over the years.
ReplyDeleteSusan
Thank you, Susan - that's so special to have known each other for 30 years!
ReplyDeletecurious how you find your way to my blog?!
any case, perhaps see you on Saturday for the service.
with love Banghan
Andre passed along to me in Spring your gift to him of Mayuma Oda's I opened the Gate, Laughing - conveying to me as he held it - the importance of your friendship and "...yes... it is to you now", he said, teaching, and I treasure it.
ReplyDeleteEllen
I remenber meeting Andre for the first time in 1996, as my wife Paule introduce me to this strange man , so generous and yet quiet, so full of attention,and yet discret , from our first meeting we started to talk photography , and he taught me more than I ever learn ,and this almost without a word !
ReplyDeleteMore than anything , it a lesson in life I got from Andre, as simple as :we are here , lets celebrate ..!!
I close my eyes ,the music comes out of the small speakers, always something to share , a climps from Andre, and the attention to detail , here the piano , here the organ, here the simple food , the small drawing .... ... and the music was never the same !!
Today , I try not to think that I will never have this privilege to sit into his kitchen anymore , but somehow , ( it is certainly one of Andre magic tric !?)I have this round table,this window the wall wit images (always changing.., and the music in me, and Andre's smile...
We have lost an artist in life, a teacher in love , a live lover ,and I miss him so much ..
with love to all of you left "orphan"
Thibault
thank you, Ellen and Thibault. this is so wonderful to read your words - i feel close to him and as if i've already met you (maybe we have, around that round "salon" dinnertable :)
ReplyDeletei'm so glad the mayumi oda book was given to you, ellen - it is so lovely. and thibault, andre embodied MAGIC, and i think we all feel a little "orphaned" by the transference of this magic to a not-so-easily seen realm.
love to you both
Andre was my neighbor on Mott Street for nine years. We used to listen to each other's music during the summer, our windows being fully open to the garden on those hot days. And yet it took 3 yrs and the birth of my first son for us to connect on a personal level: from then on it was an endless flow of positive and intriguing energy, mixed with creativity and that genuine feeling of human warmth and generosity which emanated from Andre at all times. While sometimes seemingly talking in riddles, his message was always clear: all that is important is what is now, here we are, let's celebrate. And that is exactly what I intend to do!
ReplyDeleteBe well my friend and with much love,
Andreas
Jacques Berlinerblau wrote:
ReplyDeleteMy condolences to all of you. I knew Andre for 25 years. I met him through my mother who was his client at Cinandre and then a close friend.
She just announced the news of his passing to me a few hours ago and we are both very distraught. I owe him so much, from discussions of art and Sushi to the Jazz he would play for me--I can hear a song from Bill Evans' Left to Right as I am writing this that Andre introduced me to.
He was, as you all know, a thoroughly singular person. There was literally no one like him. He lived a principled asceticism which always inspired in me a sort of awe. Someone above mentioned "intriguing energy" and that's a very apt description. There was also an integrity, a rejection of worldly goods and snares and all imbecility and guile.
I saw him in mid-August. I believe he told my mother I was the last person whose hair he cut before trying to recuperate. I asked him half a dozen times on that day if he was ok and he almost defiantly insisted he was. I knew he was ill but he did not tell me and this too I think was part of that intriguing integrity and energy.
Our conversations turned to theology sometimes and he believed there was something--art, nature, beauty. He believed there was something beyond what was here, but he was adamant he did not believe in God As an atheist I was not about to disagree. But there was a spirituality about the man--and it was free of hypocrisy or formula or cant.
I think he created artistic works of great, precision and beauty and I know he created the most unique relationships with his friends. This was a person who saw the good in people, brought out the good in people, but did so from no formal theology or philosophical position or with hope of any future reward.
I am sure I met some of you in his home and the description of taking him down the five flights of stairs has left me very shaken. A lyric I may have brought to his attention about the trumpeter Clifford Brown comes to mind: "How can you say that someone who played like Clifford Brown could play could really be said to have gone away?"
My sentiments exactly for my friend Andre.
To all of you I wish you the best
These comments are all so interesting and moving.
ReplyDeleteI spoke to Andre just 2 weeks ago. He called to suggest going to Olivier for a haircut. A mutual friend from London was in town and he said he was looking forward to seeing both of us looking great after our haircuts.
The last time I saw him was late July for a haircut. He was having a good day and we spent more time than usual together. He seemed to be happy remembering how long we'd known each other, telling stories about the past, gossiping, laughing. I told him that I had gotten a new HD video camera and he was very excited saying he would like to get one too.
I knew that he wasn't doing well, so I treasured every moment we were together.
I think my friend Carol may have gotten the last haircut and it's a beautiful one! It was the week before - 3 weeks ago. He was very weak but doing what he loved.
We were all part of a lucky club of people who knew Andre.
Heartbroken now,
xxxxx Susan
"Yes"- In a drawn out way- This is how Andre answered the phone.
ReplyDelete"Ahh, Stephane! Alors? (Pause) On est la...
"C'est un nouveau jour"
"La lumiere est magnifique"
I met Andre 42 years ago- (I am 42).
Andre was always THERE. He was THERE with everything he did; he was THERE when he touched, breathed, tasted, listened, saw... Andre lived.
I want to believe Andre died the same way... He was THERE, where he was, with those he loved.
I am trying not to be selfish and sad. Andre would want to be celebrated and not mourned.
The light is magnificent Andre! Thank you!
It will always help guide me, it will always burn bright- forever. You will always be THERE for me.
Une geuze pour El Waloon... a ton honneur.
S
so wonderful to read all these reflections of andre... i did not know he was sick and interestingly enough had a dream about him a few days before... he told me to stop dying my hair! funny... as we met over 30 years ago, i was a young woman and worked for him coloring hair, where i was not allowed to use dye only henna and crazy colors! we have stayed friends over the years and he inspired and influenced me a lot, always pushing one to their limits!
ReplyDeletei feel sad that i could not see him, but i know that he is in a good place...peaceful...
mavis
It felt as though I was blessed to be allowed a seat in Anrde's world;
ReplyDeletehis rhythm, his tone, his movement, his photographs, his touch were all of one.
He intimidated me at first, but at our last meeting in August he surprised me by reflecting on our conversations as pleasing & unusual..."always of interest." What a gracious & graceful farewell- so generous.
And how astonishing to realize now that the meticulous detail of his being- his mysterious life- is now indelible, ineffable , irreplaceable.
Andre did pass in the same way, Stephane. In the present. As much as his body would allow, he was THERE. I lived downstairs from Andre for twenty years and was privileged to be one of the people that cared for him during this journey. We spoke of many things during those last few weeks and he expressed his desire to find as much happiness and peace as he could in, this, his new reality. He embraced it fully, taking photographs from the platform bed Dick had built of "his new landscape." Our friend remains very present here on Mott Street. We love you Andre, Geraldine
ReplyDeletefrom junko
ReplyDeleteBanghan,I was so glad to find your beautiful message for andre .I remember it was about only two weeks ago that I heared andre and your voice at the same time .he was having a massage by you .I talked a little with him while he was lying .I could imagine he felt so good and happy by his voice .you must be big help for him .I know he is loving you .I miss his voice so much ,like everybody.now I can hear his saying tomorrow isn't my business that is now on my t shirt .he left me so many shining words.I need whole rest of my life to digest them.It's our privilege,treasures.I would like to be a good person like him ,like he was trying to all the time .today is a funeral day .I am praying from tokyo with my family ,with all my friends .and a miracle has happened !!moon flower that he sowed in my small garden with my kids has just bloomed .It was in this early june .they are so big and white .they made me happy .I feel he is looking us ,smiling .thank you ,andre !I can find you again & again .
we love you Junko. Yann read your little book for Andre. "..the warmest winter of my life.."
ReplyDeletetears. beauty.
Please send me your mailing address - I have a gift for Haruka from Andre. He asked me to send it to her.
I hope to keep in touch. I'd like to call you.
You can email me: yoginabi@gmail.com
or call me: 347 615 1553
do you have skype?
loving you very much,
Banghan
When I learned that Andre has passed on, I realized that he will always be alive in my heart and my memories. Dear, sweet Andre.
ReplyDeleteI suppose it may seem odd to be commenting on Andre and his life so long after his death but it was by chance that I came upon these insightful and loving thoughts of him. I knew Andre for the last two years of his life. I was to be his son-in-law. I remember, fondly, so many things about Andre. His generosity was almost overwhelming. I'll share a story of him that I love to remember.
ReplyDeleteOnce, when we were in his apartment, he felt a strong desire to give me something. Not having picked anything out beforehand he located one of his favorite shirts and brought it to me saying "It's a good shirt. Try it on." I did and graciously accepted it. A short while later he went into his back room while I reconsidered. Upon his return, I told Andre that I felt that, while the shirt was indeed nice, it was ill-fitting and I didn't think that I would wear it. He kindly took the shirt back and stated--almost defiantly--"I'll wear it tomorrow."
Sure enough, the next day Jean, Claire and I were at sushi and Andre was supposed to meet us. He walked in and was wearing, of course, the shirt! It was kind of sailor-ish and when we saw him we instantly told him how good he looked in it and he, while wearing that sly Andre grin, told us "I know. It's a great shirt!"
We all got such a laugh from that.
I miss Andre. More, perhaps, than any other person in my life. A few months after he had given me his blessing to marry his daughter he phoned to tell me that I didn't have to wait for the wedding to call him 'Dad'. He was certainly like a father to me, as well as an inspiration, a mentor, and a friend. I connected with Andre so deeply and so swiftly. Our visits--I was coming from Washington state for only a few days at a time--were concentrated meetings of philosophy, music, art and life.
Those who know Andre know just what I am talking about.
The first days that I knew Andre we walked through SoHo and he took me to the "Earth Room" and the "Broken Kilometer" and we ate and drank. The last days that I sat with Andre we cooked and laughed and smiled with my best friend and my children in his beautiful apartment with his style and grace surrounding us.
Thanks to everyone who shared their thoughts and thanks to you, Banghan, for giving us this venue for honoring our dear Friend.
Love to you all and love to Andre and the indelible mark he so sweetly leaves on us all.
Jeffrey
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete